Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
That accounts for only three of the penises
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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