Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
