You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
