Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
