she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
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