Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
