my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
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just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
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You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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