2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Pants are for mortals
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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