He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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