My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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