her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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