Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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