idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
