this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
