Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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