Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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