God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
