Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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