Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
