Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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