I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
