I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
