I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
