We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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