So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize