I just saw a hot homeless man
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
She needs sedatives and a leash
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
