first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Randomize
