she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
