Can Purell be used as lube?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
