i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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