It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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