I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
