Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
