he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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