Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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