My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
