i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
