Heybabeimwearingurpanties
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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