take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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