he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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