1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
