The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
this boner is exhausting
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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