I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
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