Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
