I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
She even gives head with a lisp.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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