Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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