I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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