why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
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