Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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