Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
