I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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