video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
