He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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