# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Randomize
