You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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