That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
